Friendship is like a pearl

I don't know how long it takes to make a pearl, but I do know it has to take a long while to build one up, one thin layer at a time. At this stage of my life, the quick and easy friendships are a thing of the past and now it will take careful nurturing to bring one to flower and fruition. I have to go so slowly, one kind word, one hug, one joke, one tasty treat, one favor, one story at a time. There are no easy BFFs these days, just weary and wary people with their own lives. My job is to show them that making me a part of their lives would be to their benefit. I can be a good friend, and I'm worth being a good friend to. It's just a delicate dance to get to that point, and it has to be done over the long term.

I have an old friend who believes that humans have energy fields and that when one is around other humans, those fields are interacting even if the people are not touching. Supposedly humans need the subtle interactions of the energy fields in order to be healthy. People need people, in other words. Even if those people are not directly involved with each other, just being around each other fulfills some need. I don't know how much I believe in the theory, but I intend to try it out to the best of my ability. I will seek to be around other people and try to derive some benefit from their presence even if I am not directly engaged with them. I think being engaged with people is better though. That will always be my first choice, but there are times when that just isn't happening. So I will settle for the idea that I'm still getting benefit from the presence of strangers just by being a human in the company of other humans.

I got paid yesterday, a little over $600. That is a righteous reward and a powerful motivator to stick with the job. Tomorrow I will go to the store and buy a boatload of groceries and a cast iron skillet; aside from regular food, I'll be getting ingredients for treats. Tomorrow night I will go to T-Bone's and get coffee with Jon, and I'll buy his drink because he is just a student. Monday night there is a Science Cafe event at the Starbucks on campus, and I will get a fancy coffee drink there too and enjoy it without guilt. I will be able to do all of these things because I am working, which makes money, which pays for things. All of the things I plan to do will advance the First and Second Goals. I just hope that the good feeling this gives me will last a long time and sustain me through the grind. This is the first big paycheck I have gotten. I don't want to forget this feeling of satisfaction and power.

Today was also a good day because we spent most of it at the game. I will reliably be in the company of six friendly and creative people for hours every Saturday for the forseeable future. Even though gaming produces nothing of value, it does create a sense of teamwork and shared experience. And it has provided a chance to meet another female gamer, Kiva, who played Aegis two weeks ago but has her own character now. She is the girlfriend of Justin, who plays Vriska. She is teaching herself to crochet and is doing really well, so that is something we have that we can talk about. She is friendly and seems to have a good connection with Justin, so she would have an understanding of the give and take of adult relationships. She's younger than I am, of course, but not horribly so. She and Justin have said they were interested in coming to the Science Cafe program with me on Monday. So there are benefits to gaming, even though it takes up a huge chunk of time.

It's midnight now and I have to get to bed. Choir and church will come soon enough, and our bed is being delivered today. So off to sleep and reset for another day.