Not better enough

Today I had the chance to stay in bed, but I didn't take it. I had a scratchy throat and an epic bad hair day, decided to beg off from church for once. I immediately missed going, but it was too late and I didn't feel good. So I went back to sleep for a while, then got up and made chili.

At least, it's what Captain Husband calls "chili." I call it beans and ground beef with a packet of seasoning mix. It's the least spicy approximation of chili possible. But it suits Captain Husband, so I make it that way. I got the kitchen cleaned up and tried to go back to bed, but I just couldn't do it. Took a shower and tried to go back to bed, but I just couldn't do it. I could lie down, but rest wasn't happening.

So I fiddled around on the computer for most of the day. We did watch a movie, "An Ideal Husband," from a work by Oscar Wilde. It was mildly amusing. This has been a largely empty day.

I'm better enough to want more, but not better enough to actually do more. I'm barely doing what I'm doing right now, and the thought of adding more to my plate is overwhelming. But I see so very much that I want to do, so many areas where I am not doing enough, and plenty of places where I will have to start doing something in order to advance.

Now it's time to go to bed and I just hope at the end of this unmotivated, pointless day that sleep will come.